Results for ‘Election Countdown’:

66 TOTAL POSTS

November 4th at 3:36AM

Countdown to Electiony: 0 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Zero: The number of times in our nation's 232 year history, as of the time of writing, that the country — despite being originally populated by dark-skinned Eurasian migrants, having a multi-continental populace going back longer than the country itself, currently boasting a citizenry with genetic ties to every conceivable place in the world, and a roughly equal (though leaning female) gender breakdown — has seen fit to elect a non-white, non-male person as either its president or vice president.

Today is the last day in our nation's history that we'll ever have to admit that again.

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LAST COMMENT:

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by John264 July 1st at 10:00AM
40 Comments
November 3rd at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 1 Day

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Besides being the loneliest number that you ever knew, 1 happens to be the number of nations under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all that the United States is.

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Obama's mom nude photo http://chappyreport.blogspot.com/2008/11/obamas-mom-nude.html

by Chappynetwok November 3rd at 8:27PM
18 Comments
November 2nd at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 2 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Rolling Stone magazine has featured the beatific image of Our Lord and Savior 2 times on its cover.

Once in March of 2008, alongside the not at all embarrassingly cloying title "A New Hope," and once again only four months later in July with no title or words whatsoever to compete with his lovely visage, save for the title of the magazine (which his head is mostly obscuring).

Because, really, what can you say?

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by jonn1 July 9th at 8:02PM
27 Comments
November 1st at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 3 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Between the two of them, President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have managed to go their lives having only been arrested for drunk driving a shockingly low 3 times!

And, to their further credit, no hookers will killed in the process.

(I know a certain Democratic Lion of the Senate who can't say as much.)

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by John458 May 10th at 4:31PM
9 Comments
October 31st at 12:42AM

Countdown to Electiony: 4 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Despite his relatively youthful 67 years of age, the United States' current vice president, Dick Cheney, has suffered 4 heart attacks.

Luckily for him and the country, only the third one was fatal.

(He continues to perambulate solely by shear force of meanness.)

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Look, we do have to face it. If Cheney can survive four attempts by Jesus to kill him he will survive anything. He's going to be Vice President after this election no matter who is in office. Just you wait.

by Bob L October 31st at 11:07AM
2 Comments
October 29th at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 6 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

In a little less than a week, we'll be heading to the polls to choose which incompetent blowhards we'll be stuck with for the next 6 years.

Choose wisely.

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Okay, last night was funny. Stevens, the air quotes, Sam B., Wyatt, and Colbert. Guess I'll stay up again tonight - curious to see Obama. Colbert - you better kick some Neo Con ass! LOL

by caligrrrrrl October 29th at 7:31PM
4 Comments
October 28th at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 7 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

With exactly one week left to go until Election Day, I feel the need to confess to an egregious error of mine that has been weighing heavily on my mind.

Twenty days ago, on October 8th, I stated that there are 27 Articles in the U.S. Constitution. This was an incorrect statement. In fact, there are only 7 Articles in the Constitution and 27 Amendments.

This was a most unfortunate mistake on my part. A mistake that brings me no end of psychological pain. One that I will have to live with for the rest of my days.

My one slight bit of solace comes with the fact that I have no family or friends to shame through my negligence, as they all disowned me several months ago when I carelessly transposed the "i" and "e" in Joe Lieberman's name.

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October 27th at 1:19PM

Countdown to Electiony: 8 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Okay, so now that we're just slightly more than a week out from the election and everyone's nerves are frayed, I'd imagine people are calling "the guy" with greater and greater frequency as they burn through their 8ths a lot faster than before.

With that in mind, tonight — while you're trying to decide between Bubblegum Fiesta or Tropic Apple Dream — give a quick thought what it's going to take to get this idiotic law off the books.

And maybe consider stopping the MPP and seeing what they have to say.

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Mike Thompson's been a baaaaaaaad boy! Ummm... Vote YES for Zane. This belongs in the weed section. http://zane2008.com/uploads/soundclip.wav

by Cube October 28th at 10:08AM
6 Comments
October 24th at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 11 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Between 1860 and 1861, 11 states decided to secede from the United States and form a new nation called The Confederate States of America.

These states now make up the majority of what is referred to as "Real America."

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I was so sorry to hear that Grandmama Obama never quite recovered from injuries sustained when Baby Bama through her under the bus. Just one quick dance with Ellen, and I'll be there with bells on, Granny.

by Obamamamerjammer October 26th at 9:37PM
5 Comments
October 23rd at 12:00AM

Countdown to Electiony: 12 Days

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio


After having already served two terms as President and taking a four-year hiatus, Teddy Roosevelt attempted to win the Republican nomination for the 1912 campaign from then-President William Howard Taft, whom he hated. Failing that, he pulled his delegates from Republican convention and formed the Bull-Moose Party, naming it after an animal that is slightly larger than Taft's fat ass.

The creation of this offshoot party caused endless infighting amongst those loyal to the Republicans and those loyal to Roosevelt, effectively splitting the vote. In the end, both parties (and the American people) lost, as Democrat Woodrow Wilson won the election.

Teddy eventually returned to the GOP, and Republicans have never fought amongst themselves again.

(Originally published as part of a series on third-party candidates. Sorry, I'm lazy and the first World Series game is starting.)

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all voters must see these vids on youtube and comment. thanks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=layFiC31fOc

by nuu October 23rd at 11:48PM
7 Comments
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