I'm really, really disappointed in Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. I think this kind of behavior is completely offensive and beneath him…
Seriously! What's he doing at a Medieval ceremony celebrating ritualistic sacrifice like that? He doesn't need to pretend to believe in that kind of childish superstition.
Dylan and Ethan Ris — old friends of ours and two of the most savant-ish wonks I've ever met — are back online and covering D.C. politics, and this time on their very own brand new website, The Earmark.
I already added it to my RSS reader. (Thank god; I can finally get back to plagiarizing them.)
It's official. Francis Collins has been named, by President Obama, as the head of the National Institutes of Health, which Obama has "has made key to his plans for reviving the U.S. economy and overhauling health care."
NIH "stands as a model when it comes to science and research," Obama said in a statement released by the White House today. "My administration is committed to promoting scientific integrity and pioneering scientific research."
The president hailed Collins as "one of the top scientists in the world" and said his "groundbreaking work has changed the very ways we consider our health and examine disease."
Obviously, this Collins guy is scientist, so — taking into account that science is an abomination before the Lord, not to mention elitist — at first blush, that's unfortunate. However, there's a good side and a bad side to this.
I turned the corner and saw in front of me this frozen waterfall, a couple of hundred feet high. Actually, a waterfall that had three parts to it — also the symbolic three in one. At that moment, I felt my resistance leave me. And it was a great sense of relief. The next morning, in the dewy grass in the shadow of the Cascades, I fell on my knees and accepted this truth — that God is God, that Christ is his son and that I am giving my life to that belief.
The bad news is that he's actually a real scientist who really actually believes in real actual sciencey stuff like evolution and has even gone so far as to head the team of scientists who mapped the human genome. (As if a) God wanted us tampering with such sacrosanct information, or b) that was even a real thing even.)
Hard to tell what all this will mean for the NIH and Obama's precious health care for poor people. But let's just pray that Collins does the Christian thing and destorys the NIH utterly.
In case you were wondering — as I'm sure you were — a spokesman for Harry Reid just made an official statement to the press that Al Franken is the absolute worst senator…
"Franken's service begins on the date on which he is sworn. So regardless of state size, etc, he cannot jump over members who were sworn on Jan. 6th," Reid spokesman Jim Manley said in an email.
"So Mr. Franken is Number 100 and is last in seniority for all members and, of course last, for Democrats too."
Okay. That's all for the time being. Now that that incredibly important bit of news is out there, you can go about your day.
A few years ago — when every third song on the radio was OutKast's "Hey Ya!" — it seemed like everybody I knew was sick to death of OutKast's "Hey Ya!" and would always complain about how much they now hated OutKast's "Hey Ya!"
But not me. For some reason, I never got sick of OutKast's "Hey Ya!" Maybe there's something not working right inside my brain. Or maybe I'm just a stupid jerkoff. I don't care. I still love OutKast's "Hey Ya!"
Well, this Hitler's bunker subtitle thing is the OutKast's "Hey Ya!" of YouTube memes…
That must have been incredibly difficult for him. Especially considering how closely it came on the heels of news of Michael Jackson's death.
Whew! That was too close. I was starting to worry that my life might not be affected in the slightest possible way…
Gay marriage foes in Maine say they've collected enough signatures to stop the new law from going into effect and to force a statewide vote in November.
Mark Mutty from the Stand for Marriage Maine coalition says it took only four weeks to gather the more than 55,087 signatures necessary to put gay marriage to a vote. But he says signature gathering will continue to ensure there's more than enough petitions.
Good thinking! You don't wanna run the risk of accidentally running out of hate. That'd be embarrassing.
In all seriousness, though. I'd like to take a moment to speak out in defense of the 55,087 citizens of Maine who have already seen fit to sign this petition. Nobody ever says anything nice about the people who oppose gay marriage. I think someone should.
A lot of people might call them hateful bigots or unpatriotic homophobes. But, you know what? I'll bet that a good number of them are pretty good hockey players.
Noted intellectual and ukulele-player Victoria Jackson has been pondering one of the most serious questions that has faced our generation: What does liberals' obsession with health care have to do with their mission of killing everything that God loves? (Because, "[i]t couldn't be because they actually care about sick, poor people." Obviously, right?)
Social Security and Medicare are broke. Baby boomers, like me, are getting old and will soon be asking for it. Socialized medicine makes people die. You stand in a long, long line with a breast lump, clogged artery, or sharp pencil stuck in your eye, and someone like the DMV person, who can't speak English [ed. note: illegal alien], has chewing gum, an attitude, really long fake nails that curl up at the end [ed. note: black lady],  and is talking on a cell phone, enjoying their power trip moment, is finally face to face with you. They mumble something incoherent about paperwork. You die. One less person in line for Social Security and Medicare!
Obama legally kills babies and now he can legally kill Grandmas!
Isn't it humbling to bear witness to a true genius of brain thinking in your own time? It's so obvious! How did we not see it? Obama was elected by the Democrats, foreigners and homosexuals to kill your grandmom!
Jeeze, this whole thing reminds me of something that somebody else did. Somebody really evil. What's his name? Damn, it's right on the tip of my tongue. Who was it again who did this exact same thing before, Ms. Jackson? Read the rest of this entry »
Come on, people. Don't you remember when Hitler signed the Healthy Germans Act of 1938? He was using the same script as Obama, right?
Let's see... allow a terrorist attack on the fatherland (burning the Reichstag). Use accompanying fear to consolidate power and get rid of checks on his authority. Manipulate the press in order to catapult propaganda. Create an unholy union between industry and the state. Scapegoat a religious and ethnic minority while using overt demonstrations of professed Christianity. Foster a national culture of militarization and pre-emptively invade other countries in the name of protecting the reich.
Yep. Sounds just like Obama
Tom Tomorrow looks at the strange psychological sway that Sarah Palin holds over the two-fucking-thirds of Republican voters who still think she can/should/will be president…
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It's official. Francis Collins has been named, by President Obama, as the 
In case you were wondering — as I'm sure you were — a spokesman for Harry Reid just made an official statement to the press that Al Franken is 
Good news, everybody! It looks like the good people of Maine just might stem this terrible flow of people who love each other 
Noted intellectual and 
