August 21st at 11:27AM

In the Name of Science: The Top 5 Colbert Bumps

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Since it's now a scientific fact that the Colbert Bump is a real phenomenon, we humbly offer a top five list of recipients of said bump:

5. Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson got the Colbert Bump to the third power. Plus, do you really need another excuse to watch He's Singin' in Korean?

4. Like other Democrats who appeared on Better Know a District, Congressman (and former Orleans singer) John Hall got the Colbert Bump while his opponent got the Colbert Dump:

3. Speaking of Democrats, former New York governor Eliot Spitzer may have received the Colbert Bumpin' Uglies:

2. Toby Keith got the Bump and offered a non-boot-up-the-ass bump in return:

1. Governor Mike Huckabee was, of course, the most famous Bump-ee (despite controversy, which will be addressed in our bonus clip):

Bonus clip: The controversy started when Conan O'Brien tried to, in effect, take credit for the Colbert Bump. But, like always, Jon Stewart settled the score:

11 Comments
  1. If only it was a a believable source for truth. However what we now have is "truthiness" not only from the real people in the world but from the fake people also. All of whom have honorary degrees. Give me the ring, precious. Give it now.

    by Melvin Meyer-Hitler August 21st at 11:54PM
  2. There seem to be many stories going on all at once here. No wonder everyone is-are confused. You are worse than "Florence of Arabia."

    by R. Thwerm August 21st at 11:57PM
  3. There seem to be "truthiness" not only from Florence of Arabia, with the scenes from ancient Rome but from the fake people also. i loved his ring, precious. If only everyone is-are confused.

    by Thwevingrads August 22nd at 2:58AM
  4. That lady quasi-Rep from Washington DC was the best !

    by obamagramma August 22nd at 4:11AM
  5. For once, I agree with you Colbert, except you need to expand upon the whole "bump" thing. The effect is different with each kind of bump.

    For example, the bump that you gave Huckabee was like a "BMX trail bump", while the boil you gave Elliot Spitzer turned out to be nothing more than buttne.

    Today we found out that your almighty bumping powers actually bumped Toby Keith into the Dem column. Yeah. Um, no offense, but you can have him back. Seriously, call him back now!!! He's speaking…in public…about politics… Apology accepted.

    I'm calling that bump the "baby bump". He's like a little child who wasn't ready to be pushed out of the nest yet. But you just HAD to bump him our way. Again, apology accepted.

    And while your bumping and grinding with all your male guests, make sure you don't dry bump anyone back into stardom, like you tried to do with Walker Texas Ranger.

    Thanks (and up yours),
    Tipper

    by Tipper August 23rd at 2:09PM
  6. Watch out for those friggin bears!

    by skippy September 11th at 5:44PM
  7. i eat dorritos because of you.Oh, and by the way watch out for bears.

    by skippy September 11th at 5:46PM
  8. I am a swim team booster mom shamelessly seeking the "Colbert Bump" with a necktie with "SC" actually for Saint Charles but hoping Stephen would help support our local high school swim team by acquiring a tie and wearing it. It is a Catholic School and God knows I've sold my share of frickin chocolate candy bars for the sake of the school kids being able to participate in their sport. I love your show and that's "The Word"…..

    by Megan September 12th at 7:59AM
  9. Froggy went to Courtin' came from the Cherokee in North Carolina.

    by Greer C September 17th at 4:26AM
  10. it was good to see you and that ass wipe steward on the awards.i really enjoyed the bit with the prunes.i guess it was hard to tell if it was you wifes face or if it was the ass wipe stewards wife. by the way jon steward is about as funny as a brain tumor. adiose m.f—-r

    by b.hartlove September 23rd at 3:07PM
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